


He Needed You

by WhispersInTheWing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: All aboard the Feels train, Character Death, Cured Dean, Demon Dean, Dying Castiel, Heavy Angst, Hunter's Funeral, Protective Dean Winchester, Sabriel - Freeform, Sad Ending, TEARS GALORE, You Have Been Warned, brief Destiel, but only hinted at, lots of feels, not a happy ending in sight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-03-16 12:32:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3488399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhispersInTheWing/pseuds/WhispersInTheWing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is barely hanging on as his Grace bleeds out of him. Hannah is forced to call on Sam and Dean so that they can say their goodbyes before Castiel's inevitable death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Starts With Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very sad story. There is no happy ending so fair warning now. Gabriel does make an appearance later in the story (if you don't die from feels first). Enjoy.

Hannah held the phone between her shoulder and her ear as it rang; her hands ghosting over the prone body of her brother, Castiel. The only sound in the abandoned house was Castiel as he took in a wheezing breath. Hannah listened to the phone ring, praying that the person on the other end would pick up.

_“Well hello Castiel. How nice of you to drop me a line. What do you want?”_ A gruff voice answered after what felt like an eternity.

“Is this Dean Winchester?” Hannah asked as she gathered Castiel’s now shivering form in her arms. She wrapped his coat tighter around him, hoping to keep him warm.

_“Who the hell is this and where’s Cas? How did you get his phone?”_

“Dean, this is Hannah. I’m here with Castiel. I’m sorry to bother you, but I didn’t know where else to turn! Castiel’s Grace has almost run out and I don’t know what to do. He won’t take another Angel’s Grace by force, but he also won’t let one of our brothers or sisters volunteer to give up their Grace, even though there are countless of them lining up to sacrifice themselves! Metatron says that there is some of Castiel’s Grace left from the spell, but Castiel would rather die first before seeing Metatron walk free. I do not know for sure how long he has left before his borrowed Grace runs out completely; it could be a few days or a few hours. I just thought you would want to come and say goodbye. It would really mean a lot to him if you would.” Hannah couldn’t stop the flood of words from spilling out in a rush.

_“Sorry sister, but Castiel and I don’t really see eye to eye anymore; what with me being a Demon and all. And how do I know this isn’t some kind of trick so that I’ll show up and you can kill me?”_

“If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t need to pull some kind of trick. I would just show up and drive my Blade THROUGH YOUR HEART! I’m serious here Dean. Castiel is dying. So you need to stow this macho Demon bullshit and be the old Dean for just one day. One day is all I’m asking of you. He may not admit it, but Castiel is scared. He says he’s made peace with his fate, but you and I both know that’s just a farce. He needs his friends, his family to be here with him. Please, Dean,” Hannah pleaded. She wasn’t above getting on her knees in front of the Demon and begging.

Dean sighed. _“I’ll be there. Just tell me where you are and I’ll come.”_

“We’re staying in an abandoned house in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. 315 Valley Road, it’s a white house with blue trim,” Hannah rattled off. The old house creaked as a gust of wind blew around it.

_“Hannah, that’s a two days drive at the very least. There’s no way I can make it in time,”_ Dean remarked. Hannah swore she could hear a hint of worry in Dean’s voice, but she wasn’t certain.

“I don’t really want to leave Castiel alone, but I can come get you and bring you here. It’ll take a few minutes and I can take you back when you want to leave.” Hannah laid Castiel down on the bed and tucked another blanket around him. The shivering died down to tremors, but Hannah could still hear Castiel’s teeth chattering.

_“Okay, give me ten minutes and I’ll be ready to go,”_ Dean growled and hung up.

Hannah’s hand trembled as she scrolled to the next name in Castiel’s contact list and hit “call”. It rang only twice before the other end picked up.

_“This is Sam.”_

“Sam, this is Hannah; we met a few times before,” Hannah said, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead.

_“Oh yeah, I remember you. Is everything alright?”_

“No, it’s not. Castiel is dying; his Grace is almost gone. I know you’re busy with finding your brother, but it would really mean a lot to Castiel if you would come and see him. He doesn’t have very much time left and he’s scared. I am too,” Hannah whispered.

_“I’ll be right there. Where are you?”_

“We’re squatting in an abandoned house in Sioux Falls. 315 Valley Road, it’s a white house with blue trim. Can you make it?” Hannah wondered, praying that he was nearby.

_“I’m like a block away from there! I’m on my way!”_ Sam shouted and hung up. Hannah sighed, what is with these Winchesters that they don’t know how to say goodbye?

Hannah stood from the mattress and began pacing the small room. The hospital bed and monitors that she had brought in took up most of the space, and the quiet beeping was the only sound to be heard. She chewed on her fingernails nervously as she waited for Sam to arrive.

A few minutes passed before Hannah heard a car door slam and hurried footsteps raced into the house and up the stairs. She met Sam in the hallway outside the bedroom.

“Thank you for coming Sam,” Hannah murmured. She motioned for Sam to keep his voice down.

“How is he?” Sam asked, running a hand through his hair.

“He’s hanging on, but only barely. I’m running out of options, Sam. I don’t know how to help him.”

Sam hugged Hannah gently. “The best way to help him is to just be there for him. You and I need to be a support system for Castiel. Okay?”

Hannah nodded, taking a step back from Sam. “You can go in and see him now. I need to go pick up some more supplies. Will you stay with him until I get back?”

“Yeah, I’ll stay with him Hannah. Take your time,” Sam replied.

“Thank you Sam. Castiel is very lucky to have you as a friend.” Hannah smiled warmly up at Sam, who blushed.

“Thanks Hannah. Cas is very lucky to have you too. I don’t know where he would be if you weren’t watching out for him,” Sam remarked before going to the door and walking in.


	2. This Life

Sam tried to hold in the gasp as he finally saw Castiel for the first time since he took Metatron to Heavenly lock-up. Castiel looked nothing like the strong warrior Sam knew him to be. He was thin and pale; his body struggling to hang on as his Grace slowly bled out of him.

“Oh God, Cas,” Sam whispered as he stepped towards the bed warily. He sat down in the chair by Castiel’s head and let out a long breath.

Castiel groaned and turned his head towards the sound of Sam’s voice. He cracked his eyes opened, feverish blue seeking out Sam in the dim light. “S-Sam?” Castiel wondered hoarsely.

“Hey Castiel, glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?” Sam asked.

“It hurts,” Castiel keened as he tried to curl in on himself to escape the pain. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I can feel my Grace being pulled in a million different directions; it’s fraying and snapping like dental floss and it hurts, Sam.”

Sam wiped the tears from Castiel’s face, his heart breaking at his friend’s pain. He wished he could do more for Cas, but Sam had no idea what to do. “I wish there was something I could do for you Cas. I hate seeing you in pain like this,” Sam remarked, gently running his fingers through his friend’s sweat soaked hair.

“It’s okay Sam. It’s not your fault. I did this to myself by foolishly trusting Metatron. This is my cross to bear,” Castiel muttered. “I deserve to die.”

“Don’t you dare say that Castiel! You are the last person who deserves to die! If anyone deserves to die, it’s Metatron! If it were up to me I would flay that asshole alive! I’d rip his Grace out with my bare hands!” Sam shouted, his blood boiling with anger. He couldn’t believe that Castiel believed he deserved to die.

\---------------------------------

Dean paced the motel room nervously as he waited for Hannah to show up. He didn’t fully trust her, but he couldn’t pass up on the chance to see Castiel for what may be the last time. He may be a Demon now, but there would always be a place in his heart for Castiel. After all, he was the one who risked everything to pull his ass out of Hell.

The tell-tale sound of fluttering wings announced that Hannah had arrived. Dean was practically climbing the walls at that point and all but jumped on Hannah as soon as she appeared.

“Take me to Castiel NOW!” Dean shouted, anger flashing in his eyes. Hannah grabbed Dean by the arm and in a bright flash of light, they were gone.

\--------------------------------------

They materialized in the hallway outside of Castiel’s room a few seconds later. Dean bent over, putting his hands on his knees as he struggled to keep from throwing up all over their shoes.

“That never gets easier,” Dean muttered. He shook off the nausea and walked into Castiel’s room. Dean stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the other man in the room with Castiel. “Sam? Wh-what are you doing here?” Dean asked as he moved to the other side of the bed.

“Hannah called me. I was passing through here on my way to a hunt and I was only like a block away,” Sam replied softly. “If you want me to leave … I’ll go.” He really didn’t want to leave after being apart from Dean for so long, Demon or not.

Dean shook his head as he sat down in the other chair. “No Sam, please stay. I-I need you man. Cas needs you.”

Sam nodded, but didn’t speak. It felt good to have all three of them together again, even if the circumstances weren’t happy. He hoped that Castiel pulled through; not for him, but for his brother’s sake. If Castiel died, Sam didn’t think he’d ever see his brother again.

“Hey Cas, it’s me Dean. I’m sorry for everything; for taking on the Mark, for letting myself be dragged into the darkness of it all. I’m sorry Cas. Please, I know you would rather die than see metadouche walk, but … I don’t want you to die. You mean so much to me and Sam; we need you Castiel. Please let Metatron give you your Grace back, and then we’ll all go together and hunt him down. But you gotta promise that you pull through this. I can’t do this life without you.” Dean’s voice was soft, his breaths hitched as he held back tears. He needed to be strong for Castiel.


	3. Broken Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for another chapter! this is a big one, so read the tags! It is a short chapter, but this was the only spot that really ended it right.
> 
> -Stacey

Castiel shook his head. “I-I can’t Dean. If we let him go, he’ll just do this again and none of us may survive the next time. I don’t want to be the reason you or Sam die. I can’t live with that on my conscience.” He wouldn’t let himself be swayed on the subject.

“Cas please! I’m begging you man. And who’s to say we don’t double-cross him and kill him as soon as he shows us where the rest of your Grace is? It’s what we Winchesters do.” Dean clutched Castiel’s hand, tears falling unnoticed down his face. It wasn’t like Castiel to just give up and accept anything. He had been God at one point, for crying out loud! “Please Cas.”

Sam sat silent as his brother sobbed. He’d never seen this side of Dean before and to be honest, it kind of scared him. But it told him that his brother wasn’t a completely lost cause. There was still some part of him deep down that was still human, still the old Dean he knew. And Sam prayed that Castiel would pull through, because his brother would never be the same without him.

It was early in the morning when Castiel died. Shortly after midnight, the monitors began beeping erratically; alarms sounding as he thrashed in his bed. Dean watched helplessly as Cas seized, struggling to take a breath. Sam jerked awake, almost falling from his chair.

“Hannah! Do something Hannah! You have to save him! Please!” Dean begged.

“There is nothing I can do for him Dean. His borrowed Grace has reached its end, there’s nothing more to be done. We have to let him go,” Hannah said softly as she stood at the foot of Castiel’s bed. “Talk to him Dean. Let him know you’re still here; it may ease his final moments.”

Dean grasped Castiel’s hand in his, kissing his knuckles gently. “I’m right here Cas. It’s okay, you can let go. I’m gonna miss you so damn much. But I won’t ask you to stay here because I know you’re suffering. I could never do that to you Cas. I love you too much for that. Thank you for teaching me how to be a better person. Thank you for showing me the way back to the light whenever I strayed. You’re leaving Cas … and taking a big part of my heart with you. I will never forget you Castiel. You will always be my Angel.” Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to Castiel’s temple, a tear sliding down his freckled cheek.

White light spilled from Castiel’s hand where it was joined with Dean’s. It seeped into Dean’s skin as it traveled up the hunter’s arm. Dean gasped, watching the light as it seemed to fill his entire body.

“What’s happening?” Sam questioned. “Hannah, what’s going on?”

“I … I don’t know,” Hannah whispered, enraptured by the scene unfolding before them. The light from Castiel was engulfing Dean, driving a black cloud out of him. Dean’s eyes flickered from green to black and back again. “I think he’s fixing Dean.”

Dean cried out in pain suddenly, his arm burning. He looked down, eyes wide as the Mark of Cain faded from his skin. He slumped forward panting, trying to comprehend what had just happened. In Castiel’s dying moments, he had used the last shred of his Grace to drive the Demon from Dean’s soul.

“Cas … you saved me,” Dean gasped, staring down at his now clear arm. He turned towards the Angel, chest tightening in pain when he saw the light gone from Castiel’s eyes. Dean broke down in sobs, tears sliding down his cheeks like waterfalls. “I’m sorry Cas. I’m sorry.”


	4. Wrong Side Of Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannah confronts Gabriel.

“He needed you! He was dying and he needed you! How could you ignore him like that? How could you ignore his prayers?” Hannah questioned, sadness lacing her words. She took a step forward as a tear slid unnoticed down her cheek. She clutched Castiel’s trench coat in her trembling hands. “How could you ignore me?”

“I didn’t ignore him Hannah; I didn’t even know he was sick! In case you weren’t aware, I’m no longer tuned in to Angel Radio. And our brothers and sisters don’t speak to me anymore. I’m the black sheep of the family,” Gabriel snapped, dropping his head into his hands.

Hannah sighed, shoving a lid on her roiling emotions and moving to sit down beside Gabriel on the bed. “You are not the black sheep, Gabriel. Things have changed since Metatron banished us from Heaven, and all of our slates have been wiped clean. Every Angel is being welcomed back with open arms … and that includes you Gabriel. All you had to do was reach out to one of us. We have not spoken to you because we could not find you; you would not answer your phone or our calls. We thought you were dead. I missed you brother.”

Gabriel turned and caught Hannah’s eyes. “Will you take me to see him? I want to let him know I am still alive,” Gabriel remarked. He grabbed Hannah’s hands and pleaded. He had to tell Castiel the truth; that he hadn’t been killed by Lucifer all those months ago and had been waiting for the right moment to go back.

Hannah sucked in a sharp breath, tears burning in the backs of her eyes. “I’m sorry Gabriel, but Castiel’s gone. H-he passed away yesterday. I tried to contact you, but you never answered. You were the only one, _the only one_ , who didn’t show up when I called. I was so scared and I didn’t know what to do! Dean Winchester, who was turned into a Demon by the Mark of Cain, showed up to say goodbye to Castiel when I called; Sam came too.

“They were both there for him when his borrowed Grace finally ran out. But do not think that it was peaceful. Castiel … was in horrible pain until the very end. He begged Dean to end his life, to drive an Angel Blade through his heart and end his suffering. But you know Dean, he wouldn’t kill the man he loved. So he stood by and watched that man fade away. There is a light in this darkness though; Dean is no longer a Demon. Castiel’s pure love for Dean cured Dean’s soul. He’s human again. Castiel was able to leave this Earth with one last good deed. The Winchesters are back together doing what they do best. Hunting things that need to be hunted.” Hannah threw Castiel’s trench coat onto Gabriel’s lap, hot tears falling down her face when she could no longer keep her anger and sadness locked away. “You were supposed to be there for him Gabriel! You were his big brother; he looked up to you!”

“Hannah I—”

“No Gabriel! You were supposed to be there for him! You were supposed to be there for me! We needed our brother and you were not there!” Hannah broke down into loud, heart-wrenching sobs that shook her entire body as she fell to her knees.

Gabriel dropped to his knees beside Hannah, gathering her in his arms. “I’m sorry Hannah. I know I should’ve been there; I was a coward. I am sorry you had to go through that alone. I am a horrible brother.”

“He was so scared. He was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do. None of us could do anything. Metatron had some of Castiel’s Grace left after he stole it and told Castiel he would return it to him if he let him go. But Castiel refused to let Metatron go unpunished for his actions and would not make a deal with the scribe.”

“Take me to Metatron, Hannah. I will see him punished to the fullest extent for Castiel’s death. I will have his head for this. He will not get away with this,” Gabriel growled, palming his blade as he stood.

“Metatron has barricaded himself in Heaven. No one can get in or out. Thousands of souls are trapped in the Void and turning restless every day! Our brothers and sisters are killing themselves by the hundreds because they don’t know how to live amongst the humans. Most have never been in a vessel before and they’re confused and scared. Some are dying because they can’t find a vessel that can handle their power. It’s pandemonium out there Gabriel. Please, you have to help.”

“I will, Hannah. I am done sitting on the sidelines like a coward. It’s time an Archangel took over the reins and ran Heaven the way Father wanted. Metatron may think he’s safe in Heaven, but nothing can keep out an Archangel. He will die on the end of my blade for his transgression. Heaven is under a new order now.”

Hannah stood, taking Gabriel by the hand. “There is somewhere we need to go first,” She stated simply.

In the blink of an eye, the two Angels were standing on a cliff overlooking a wide, crystal blue lake at sunset. A lone funeral pyre stood before them, a body wrapped in a white sheet lay atop it. Sam and Dean stood silently beside one another; Dean subconsciously rubbing the spot on his forearm where the Mark of Cain once resided. Tear tracks stained both men’s cheeks. Sam looked up at the sound of fluttering wings, eyes growing wide at the man standing beside Hannah.

“Gabriel? Wh-I thought you were dead? Where have you been?!” Sam asked, stalking towards the pair. “Why weren’t you there for Castiel?!”

Gabriel looked up at the young hunter he left alone all those months ago. Usually he had a snarky quip on the tip of his tongue, but this time he was speechless. “I’m sorry Sam. I’ve been in hiding ever since I tricked Lucifer into thinking I was dead. I didn’t know Castiel was sick or believe me, I would’ve been there. It’s eating me up inside that I didn’t get the chance to see my little brother one last time.” Tears flowed down Gabriel’s cheeks like the words from his mouth.

Sam’s hands shook at his sides. “How could you leave us like that? How could you leave _me_ like that? Do you know how long I cried over you? How many sleepless nights I had because of the hole in my heart? I loved you dammit!” Angry, hurt tears slid down Sam’s face as he stared at the ground.

“I loved you too Sam. I still love you just as much as the first day I saw you. I know my apologies will never be enough. I can never make it up to you, I know that. I just … I have to say goodbye. I need to say goodbye to my brother,” Gabriel explained, hanging his head in shame. He had known Sam’s feelings towards him, but once he went into hiding he didn’t think Sam would ever want anything to do with him again. A tear slipped down the Angel’s cheek as he waited to hear Sam’s response. If he or Dean told Gabriel that he wasn’t allowed to be there while they laid Castiel to rest, then he would leave.

Sam shook his head, fighting back the urge to punch Gabriel in the face. He opened his mouth to speak, but Dean beat him to it.

“Of course you can stay Gabriel. I would want the chance to say goodbye if I was in your position. Would you like some time alone with Cas?” Dean asked, stepping up next to Sam and placing a steady hand on his arm.

Gabriel nodded. “Yes, just a moment.” He stepped around the two hunters and slowly made his way over to where his brother’s body lay. He stared down at the white draped body, tears spotting the fabric. “I’m sorry Castiel. I know that my apology can never be enough to excuse my absence, but I have nothing else to give you. I failed you when you needed me the most. I will never forgive myself for that, but I hope that by taking Metatron’s head, I can get you the justice you deserve.” A sob caught in his throat, his chest tight with grief. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you at the end.” Gabriel pulled back the fabric, placing a final kiss to Castiel’s forehead. “I’ll miss you baby brother.”


	5. Calling Me Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. I've decided to end the story here. I may or may not write a sequel, I haven't decided yet. I know this chapter is extremely short, but it is what it is. 
> 
> Enjoy and thank you for reading.
> 
> Much love, S

Gabriel covered his brother’s face for the final time, moving away until his back hit a solid figure. He looked up into the tear-stained face of Sam, and felt tears of his own cascade down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered. “I’ll go now.”

He turned to walk away when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Sam shook his head. “You don’t have to go.” Sam pulled Gabriel’s back to his chest, wrapping his arms around the archangel. The two of them watched Dean step up to the pyre and light it, his hand visibly shaking.

Dean stared into the fire as it slowly consumed the man he loved. His heart was a raw open wound in his chest and Dean didn’t know if it would ever heal. “It should be me up there,” Dean muttered to no one and everyone. “It should be my tainted body burning; not my angel’s. After all the good Castiel did in our lives he still ended up falling. Why can’t God just let us be happy for once? Haven’t we given enough of ourselves to the cause?”

Sam tightened his hold on Gabriel as his older brother’s words carried to them on the wind. Of course Dean blamed himself for Castiel’s death. But he shouldn’t. Sam is the one to blame for all of this. If he had never been born, then he would never have been tainted by the yellow-eyed demon. If he had never been tainted, then he would never have been killed by Jake Talley. If he had never been killed by Jake Talley, then Dean would never have gone to a crossroads and sold his soul. If Dean had never sold his soul, then he would never have gone to Hell. If Dean had never gone to Hell, then Castiel never would have gone down to save Dean’s soul. If Castiel had never saved Dean’s soul, then Castiel never would have Fallen. And if Castiel had never fallen, then he’d still be alive and thousands of Angels would still be in Heaven.

“It should be me up there Gabriel, not Castiel. I’m the cause of everything bad that has happened to us,” Sam shuddered; a tear dripped into Gabriel’s hair.

Gabriel turned from the fire and held Sam’s face in his hands. “Don’t talk like that either of you. The only person who is to blame here is Metatron. He was the one who stole Castiel’s Grace. And he is the one who will burn for it. I will not rest until there is justice for my brother, for the hundreds of Angels who died in the Fall. I will make my little brother proud … one last time.”


End file.
